Efficiency

So I’m learning about making sites easier to build… with Server Side Includes. Such a simple concept, but what a difference it makes. We’ve built them a long time at the office, but I’ve never really sat down and tried to integrate them by myself.

It took a big site built in DreamWeaver to make me rethink my ways. Dreamweaver has this nifty “Library” feature, which, although neat at first, becomes an unwieldly, slow, simplified “Find and Replace,” and when you have a big site, making one little change to that Library Item updates every page… very slowly.

The upside: DreamWeaver recognizes “includes” and displays them in the visual editor, so you can still get a sense of the page.

Regardless, I’ve got it down pat. Maybe I’ll lose the frames on my personal site one o these days… hmmmm.

The parking lot Cincinnati calls Interstate 71

So I somehow managed to get up and pack in time to get to the airport (or so I thought)… when, last minute, I couldn’t find my specs. Heck knows I can function without my glasses, but I do enjoy being able to see, clearly.

I rushed around the house looking high and low in the usual suspect locations, when I decided to give ol’ Delta a call and see if I could manage a later flight. 12:30 was booked they said and to get on the 4:30 flight would cost an arm and a leg (and a used car)… So i gulped, went for one last go ’round and found the dang things.

It was snowing outside. Me, being the space-case that I am, didn’t think to check the weather and see what the forecast held. The on-ramp to the highway was slow. Folks were going at a snail’s pace and I started to get real flustered.

Upon entering the highway, it came to a stand still, with bursts of 5 MPH movement.

In my haste, I decided to breathe, stop looking at the clock, and just roll with it, knowing it was beyond my control. I kept callin the airline on my mobile phone hoping to catch wind of a delay.

No such luck.

I finally got to the airport, only to find my flight would leave in 10 minutes, on schedule, with no way for me to get to the gate and past security in time. Luckily, the feller behind the counter said that I’d very likely get on the 12:30 flight on standby without charge.

Deciding to grab a horrible breakfast from McDonalds (why? I ask myself, do i even attempt to eat that shit) I sat down and prepared for the 4 hour wait. Luckily there was an overpriced ‘net connection, so I got some work done and emails written after I took a quick snapshot of the planes collecting purdy snowflakes.

Fast forward a bit and I’d landed in Phoenix, slightly roughed from the lack of sleep and extremely different weather. A sunny 75 degrees and a swell blue sky greeted me as I rolled my suitcase out to the shuttle.

Dinner with an old friend and a visit with his family filled out the rest of the night, where we tried to catch up on two years of not being in touch save for the holidays. I went to bed on an inflatable matress at 2am, realizing that I’d been up almost 24 hours. Yikes.

The ideal job

Just had an alumni from Ohio State drop a line asking about options and opportunities in the Cincinnati area… For some reason, I felt compelled to write a long winded reply, as his questions seemed to hint—no, declare— he was frustrated with his vocation.

After some link gathering and discussion about the Ohio Valley as a place to live and work, I suggested looking outside of the field of corporate design. In turn, I made a small realization that my perfect job would have:

  • Interaction with humans
  • A component that required time spent outdoors
  • Some type of physical exertion on a regular basis
  • Short term, tangible rewards coupled with long term (positive) effects on the community or the environment

Funny thing is, my current job is behind a computer monitor, with clients often in other cities, and often for corporate benefit. I need to find opportunities to evolve.

Adaptation

A friend once asked me, have you ever been in love. My initial reaction was agape. I replied, “Of course I have been in love. Many times.” I didn’t even have to think at all to bring the answer forth.

This turned into a somewhat heavy conversation about what love is, which is certainly something worth chatting about. Seems that folks have different and finite interpretations of what love, indeed, is.

For me, it is an emotion that goes beyond physical interaction, into a place where we care deeply for another individual.

I can easily say I have loved many people, and once it crosses into that realm, even if we part ways, maybe even have a “falling out,” it doesn’t matter… The love still exists. So in terms of being “in love” – I suppose it’s not something one falls out of in my book. I am constantly in love. It comes to surface in varying degrees.

It’s also not a two way street.

Some folks fall in love.
Some folks get married. Some folks go out.
Some folks get divorced. Some folks break up.
What they thought was love is then (often) replaced by this intense anti-love — a hatred or loathing.

This is not what I would’ve considered love in the first place. I can’t deny that part of life is change, so that’s a variable I will confess. Though, I would be remiss to use the word enemy, I can see loving one’s enemy.

I can love without reciprocation, and I don’t mind that one bit, as it is a fantastic feeling all unto itself. It’s warming and wonderful.

Oh by the way, the movie Adaptation reminded me of all these thoughts. I saw it today, and it was good.

Unrelated view of Cincinnati outside the theater:

Cincinnati Skyline as seen from Newport on the Levee

I got my haircut.

Tiny Tina is my barber located in Ludlow, Kentucky.

Is she Tiny? I suppose she’s not a giant. I’ll ask her where the handle came from one of these days.

I’ve been going to her ever since I moved back to Cincinnati from Columbus, 6 years ago. 6 years and I’ve not once cheated on Tina. No other barber has touched my follicles. Tina would find out. She would know.

Once or twice, I’ve tried to trim up my mustache myself… or tried to even out my beard… but she caught that too.

Tina has been with me through thick and thin (more appropos, thin and thinner) – as I’ve gone from goatee to somewhat of a beard, to now what we’re referring to as “mountain man.”

Thing is, she’s always accepting and happy to accomodate my whims, and is genuinely interested in whatever I’m working on, or where I plan to travel. We have a great rapport and I’ll be honest, I look forward to sitting in that barber chair, if anything – just to spend time with good folk.

I know about her family, her troubles with being an independent business owner – things like the hell we must suffer trying to get health care coverage and whatnot, I know where she’d like to visit and I know why.

Today, we watched the birds outside of her front window some, in the middle of shaving the back of my neck. After we identified a few of them, she turned her attention back to making me look, um, less, scruffy.
I mentioned the photos she now had lining the walls were new (photos of folks in the barber chair posing with Tina). Yeh she said, they were new. I said that _I_ was sorely missing from the wall. Yeh, she said, and yelled back to her sister (who tends to the phone and other responsibilities), “Get the camera”

There’s moments like this, where life’s just happening, that I realize that this is the “community” thing I list in my head when thinking about my requriements for living somewhere. There’s a bunch of variables, but I think a couple are:

  • people – good people – people who genuinely take an interest in your well-being
  • consistency – some pattern in which we interact.
  • time – good vibes take a while to ruminate. these things can’t happen overnight. We can push them along, but we can’t force them. Good folk happen when you least expect it.

No subject

Tonight marks the end, truly, of 2002. All the vacation days squandered over the holidays have run out. Of course, I’ve spent the last week battling the flu, perhaps I could count those as sick days and regain some free time in ’03.

Wallowing in misery and sleeping most of the day hasn’t been all unproductive.

My house is more organized and somewhat clean.
I got some deliverables out the door for work.
and I did start this whole journal thing up.

I’m not really sure how this is going to play out though. First of all, other folks can read it, and secondly, I used to keep a journal, but upon review – i decided I have nothing worthwhile to say.

In fact, in college, my journals were all about working too hard, getting sick, not being able to pay bills, buying a CD, and perhaps a visit from a friend. That was _all_ four years, with some variety thrown in the mix.

The last thing I want is for this to showcase that my patterns have not changed altogether very much.

End of topic. We’ll see how it goes.

I did sneak away from my home to see Lord of the Rings tonight with my coworkers. It was tough keeping focused on all the battles and eye-candy. A little hokey here and there, and I am still yet to be enamored by digital characters of any sort on screen.

Overall, the movie did make me feel good about spending all this time at home and cleaning, writing and whatnot. At least I don’t feel like I’m missing too dang much out there.

Beck on Austin City Limits

I took this Saturday quite slowly… getting up after noon, I began to think my sleeping schedule was way out of whack. Something else was wrong though. Lips chapped, nose all flaky, I decided that there was no moisture in the air whatsoever. The heat from my house was zapping it completely.

I tried to make myself presentable and venture outside, into the world of humidifiers. So many options in the humidifier world. Cool mist, warm mist, varying capacity, timers, night lights, faux wood grain, the list goes on and on. I went for the one that said you never had to change the filter, which I find suspect, but calming. If I can just keep the thing filled, I will be a happy camper.

After that ordeal, I somehow managed to fill the entire afternoon without much to show for it. I think I napped for a while, to the obnoxious sound of the humidifier, only to find that, the water did not get absorbed as the tank did not seat properly. A small adjustment made the whole audible level more tolerable.

Tonight, I ordered my first pizza for delivery online at Larosas and I’m keeping my fingers crossed to see if it works.

Regardless, the evening will be good, I am sure. Beck is performing on Austin City Limits with The Flaming Lips as his backup band. Five songs into it, I’m in a mellow, good, reflective mood.

Oh yeh, and the pizza just arrived.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I turn 31

Tomorrow is my birthday. I turn 31.

Birthdays are silly, really.

Just some indicator of how many moons have gone by as we rotate.

I really thought for the longest time, if I just make it to 30. If I just make it to 30.

It’s worthy to take pause though, and reflect.

—

30 was rough. And not for the usual, I’m-getting-old reasons…

30 was rough more for the ignorance which I realized I fostered over the decades.

It was a battle between the mind and the heart.

Perhaps I’m still wrestling with the emotional journey, coupled with the physical journey.

I’ve been reeling ever since my trip across the country. The journey I went on because everything went to shit. The journey I undertook because I believed that I wasn’t making the right choices…

I was unsatisfied with what I had invested.

To boot, I believed I wasn’t learning basic human nature.

Sure I can make things. I can build a website. I can help start a business. I can match my socks. I can take pictures. I can use a computer. I can make vegetable soup. I can solve complex problems…

But I can’t connect with folk on both a physical and mental level.

I was alone, and scared.

I still see these phases of my life as an outsider. An outsider to some secret notion that brings people together.

I never fit in.

I got along, of course… But I never fit in.

It took me 29 years to identify why (I thought) that was, and be honest about it. Once I did, it unraveled.

I didn’t fit in at all.

I was again, on the outside.

It’s funny how our eyes can see boundaries that aren’t there, yet they seem so real.

Our hands can reproduce things in a variety of constructs: Paper, clay, metal, code, film. These things are real. But how we react to them moves into this inner world of interpretation.

I’ve always thought that music transcended these physical representations. It exists in a space that is tied to emotion – some compartment of our head that excites the senses.

That’s all a tangent, but for some reason – it seems like there’s an interconnectedness that I’m still not grasping.

I know there are boundaries that do not exist, but the mind has this way of being more creative than reality. I’m hedging my bets that this is, indeed, a good thing.

Reality can be so bleak.

Sometimes.

—

30 was wonderful.
And not for the usual, I’m-smarter-with-experience reasons…

30 was wonderful more for the fascination which I realized I fostered over the decades.

It was a victory between awe and wonderment.

Perhaps I’m still amazed that in the face of boredom or adversity, we have a choice to move forward.

And once we start moving, there are destinations and people that begin to fill the empty spaces we’ve carved out of ourselves over the years.

I am satisfied with what I have invested.

To boot, I believe I understand basic human nature.

Sure I can make things. I can build a website. I can help start a business. I can match my socks. I can take pictures. I can use a computer. I can make vegetable soup. I can solve complex problems…

And I can connect with folk.

We are alone, and scared. But there’s happiness and comfort that can be shared.

And I am an outsider… If only for the reason that I choose to say it.

If only for the reason that I choose to say anything at all.

I may never fit in.

But I’ll get along, of course…

I like being on the outside.

It’s not desolate at all. There’s good company.

It’s funny how our eyes can see boundaries that are there, and we can move freely about.

That’s all a tangent, but for some reason – it seems like there’s an interconnectedness that I’m grasping.

The mind has this way of being more creative than reality. I’m hedging my bets that this is, indeed, a good thing.

I’d rather create my reality.

Yellowstone National Park and Generative Expand

RECOLLECTION

This was the 45th photo from my new Canon PowerShot S300. I would fathom we used the rental car as a tripod for this shot, or there was some kind tourist near this North entrance of Yellowstone National Park.

Unrelated, I thought this oddly cropped image would be a fun thing to fiddle with Photoshop’s new AI Generative Expand feature that fills in the gaps. It did a fine job methinks (see below).

I wonder if they’ll create a technology to fill in mental gaps during my lifetime.

Generative Expand