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Today would have been my sister’s birthday. It is our first without her.

Death is hard to reconcile, perhaps more so when it happens unexpectedly.

I continue to wrestle, running a gamut of emotions without discernible pattern.

She’d scoff at lingering in sadness even though that’s easier to say than do.

So I ordered pizza for dinner (not her favorite, which would have been Imperial from Buffalo) but close enough.

I put on music she liked.

Lit a candle.

And celebrated with her spirit.