A friend once asked me, have you ever been in love. My initial reaction was agape. I replied, “Of course I have been in love. Many times.” I didn’t even have to think at all to bring the answer forth.
This turned into a somewhat heavy conversation about what love is, which is certainly something worth chatting about. Seems that folks have different and finite interpretations of what love, indeed, is.
For me, it is an emotion that goes beyond physical interaction, into a place where we care deeply for another individual.
I can easily say I have loved many people, and once it crosses into that realm, even if we part ways, maybe even have a “falling out,” it doesn’t matter… The love still exists. So in terms of being “in love” – I suppose it’s not something one falls out of in my book. I am constantly in love. It comes to surface in varying degrees.
It’s also not a two way street.
Some folks fall in love.
Some folks get married. Some folks go out.
Some folks get divorced. Some folks break up.
What they thought was love is then (often) replaced by this intense anti-love. This hatred or loathing.
This is not what I would’ve considered love in the first place. I can’t deny that part of life is change, so that’s a variable I will confess. Though, I would be remiss to use the word enemy, I can see loving one’s enemy.
I can love without reciprocation, and I don’t mind that one bit, as it is a fantastic feeling all unto itself. It’s warming and wonderful.
Oh by the way, the movie Adaptation reminded me of all these thoughts. I saw it tonight, and it was good.
Charlie Kaufman : There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Donald Kaufman : Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
CK : I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.
DK : I remember that.
CK : Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at me. You didn’t know at all. You seemed so happy.
DK : I knew. I heard them.
CK : How come you looked so happy?
DK : I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn’t have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
CK : But she thought you were pathetic.
DK : That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That’s what I decided a long time ago.